Where the wind calls my name......

I can't wait until Iam able to see with my true eye, into my promise of life.
ONE LUV

SO HAPPY...

GOT ME A GOOD MAN AND FRIEND A GOOD LIFE GREAT FRIENDS, A WONDERFUL FAMILY AND MOST OF ALL MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD I CAN TRULY SAY THAT NO THAT THE BAD SEED IS OUT OF MY HAIR I CAN FOCUS ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE LIKE BEING HAPPY AND LIVING LIFE TO THE FULLEST WITH NO EXCEPTIONS OR REGRETS. LIVING WITH A SMILE.......ITS WORTH THE WORLD.

ONE LUV

R@NDOMN3SS

So many things come to mind as I sit at my desk and use words to express emotions that would other wise go unrecognized. Right now the best way to describe me is....hopeful. I hope for a lot praying that some things come true. Sometimes I dwell on misfortune and just take whats in front of me without asking questions. I have a lot of regrets and its funny they all happened in one year. So random they were yet extremly severe, I can still hear the music playing in the background of a soundtrack to a movie I never should have went to see. I got a doggy bag to go so I wouldnt forget the experience. Pleased I am with my life and its current state. I cant pretend anymore whats done is done and I ate everything on my plate. Nothing left to show nor share I have forgiven all no time to care. Like Priscilla Renae would say:

" I have learned

that people aint gone change unless they wanna

can't make 'em over

It's hard to learn

the only one who can help you is yourself

nobody else cares...."

So true those words she spoke, if you dont care for yourself dont waist ya time waiting on anyone else to do it for you because its not gonna happen not now, not ever. You are your own best friend. You cant deal with yourself yet you want someone else to take a chance on you? Thats stupid...but I guess if you consider yourself to be stupid its expected. And you wouldn't want to go against the grain and do something unexpected OH NO! Quick call somebody before we do something crazy like be OURSELVES!......Thank the Lawd the laws came we were almost independent individuals. Man... that was a close one.......simple minded followers.

Iam sick and tired of being the only woman in a room that has an opinion about something besides hair and makeup. Im sick and tired of being asked what Im mixed with because just regular ole blacks cant have good hair like mine with them type of curls and waves I have I gots to be mixed. Im tired of people being surprised that I know about authors and current events like I cant read or watch the news. Im tired of people saying you are mean, because I won't accept your ignorance. Iam sick and tired of guys using the same line on me, talking about, wow you are really smart and beautiful why are you single? And Iam tired of my own dumbass because I keep falling for it. I tired of giving my all in relationships just to get half in return. Iam tired of people telling me to just wait and see. Im tired of waiting, and what the hell is there to see?????? Whatever it is better hurry up and get here because Im about to leave! Fo' real a lot of people dont believe that I go through half of the things I say I do but guess what I could care less because I know I do and it aint none of your business anyway so all those people who try to put me down talk about me call me names behind my back and talk smack, keep it up I appericiate that. And as far as men go I do love one and he knows his name, but Iam in love with another and his name is JESUS!! And nobody in this world or the next can tear us apart. What he has for me is great he is my father, my pastor, and my best friend. He knows me within and he is still my friend, can't nobody do me like jesus and no one ever will. And who I end up with is his will, it has already been written and I dont play with jesus.....those that do be trippin'.

This was just randomness that came to my head I wasnt tryna make a point just said what needed to be said. If you got something to say good or bad go right ahead. May the World be blessed.

Peace. Iam off to bed.

ONE LUV

SAYIN' WHAT I NEED TO SAY

There has never been a time where I have been more in tune with the un-commonsense of self, with wealth edited by self pitty. I love hard, its the reason I feel shitty. I pray that stupidity isnt an inheritable trait, past the act of making my mistakes seem like fate, fast forwarding through my blues to problems I can use to help me grow. Only light in a room of dark shadows, black paper written with clear ink, hoping the secrets wont get leaked. CAUTION! Written on a place I called home.....wonder why I feel alone. I scream HELP but the words come out wrong lead broke on the pencil, no time for a song. Looking for peace trying to cope with the site of rejection in an evening gown greeting me with a smile. I say what I need to say. I say it in a crowd!Past pretending and invisible worlds I break down barriers and allow screams I create a world of my own and find peace. I say what I want to say not what they teach. ONE LUV

THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT US

Education the mother of our generation,nursed us as youth brought us up with some truth, but neverthe FULL story.Tried to eliminate those who they felt wouldn't succeed.Why waste time watering dead seeds?

They say, " Why buy books if they can't read? If they want to go,why don't we let them leave? With the rot out the way it's better air to breath.I knew from the beginning THEY wouldn't succeed."

We say, " I don't care about school or what they think. Getting a diploma, what's it gonna prove? It don't get you nowhere on the streets. They don't need us its plenty of other people that want to learn about THEIR history, they don't need me."

I say, " An ignorant generation falls short of an education a wise government makes more rules, makes it impossible to go to school.Self taught fools break rules and use schools as a cover.Government names you radical! They try to turn your whole learning process on sabbatical.I have not perfected the Thee's and Thou's and taken trips.But in the corners of the book I find Bliss. Don't judge me by my hairstlye or choice of clothing.Knowledge can be found anywhere depending on the soul you're searching.Lost particles of someones shattered dreams, recycled daily by the system, try to get 'em back but by the time you've turned around you've missed 'em.Blocking your view they don't want you to succeed.THEY DON'T REALLY CARE ABOUT US!Was writinng on MJ's sleeve now he's six feet deep and who are we to believe? Stop making excuses don't try, just do!You leave your fate in the hands of your enemy and you call THEM fools....

IT'S TIME TO FIGHT BACK!

ONE LUV

Who's gonna run this town?

A fool in love plays the game until she is ready to get out of his lane. - Adriana (me)

I guess you could say that I was a fool in love. I mean I did love and I was a fool about it so I would see how I could fall into that category. I played the game did what I thought was right, stayed up all night tryna make it work. But the thing is, it wasnt meant to work in the first place. I listend so intently that I thought he knew me better than I knew myself, I thought man he really gets me. Not realizing that the generalizations he used just didn't describe me but every woman that ever lived! LOL I can laugh about it now because I am over it. I was getting psyched out of the me I would become. The ME that I see now. After a while a girl gets tired of the closed mouth open legs trick that takes hold of the emotional struggle of a woman. Its just more to life then a man and sex. With foolish adventures in my past and success in my future, I must say I learned my lesson. Now that love is out of the way for the time being I am just focused on ME. It's not a time for second guessing, I had my fun now it's time for business. Now, all that know me know that I am not a Jay-Z fan I think his music is cool just don't like him as a person, but I respect his business. And his new single 'Run This Town', is my theme song, I will no longer be distracted by anyone or anything.

"Life’s a game but it’s not fair

I break the rules so I don’t care

So I keep doing my own thing

Walking tall against the rain

Victory’s within the mile

Almost there, don’t give up now

Only thing that’s on my mind

Is who gon’ run this town tonight."

I RUN THIS TOWN!

Destination....$THE TOP$

ONE LUV

I Noticed

My Eyes say what I choose not to think.....

If only I could go back in time...maybe he could have been WE.

ONE LUV

Straight Leg

My father who I consider to be a very wise man :D informed me on something that I never thought of before last night as we were sitting on the porch. As I was telling him how my first day back to school went and how I was pleased with those I choose to surround myself with this year, He Stopped me. He began to breakdown what and who I should and should not deal with. First he talked about the short leg person. I know I was thinking the same thing short leg??? Then he began to explain that a short leg person does not mean that that person literally has a short leg but instead a short leg person is a person that has no long term goals and is just going with the flow. They have no hope in life and have no support to want to do anything more. He told me that with the plans and goals that I have, there is no need for short leg conversation. Next, he explained the long leg individual. This is the individual that has a plan and knows where they want to go but at the same time they need a short leg to validate them. To make them feel more wanted, or make them feel as though they are going somewhere. This person is really not one that you want around because they bring along extra baggage and they are not able to stand on their own two feet. Lastly, may father spoke about the straight leg person. Now this person stuck out to me the most because I just thought that the straight leg and the long leg was the same person. The difference in the Straight leg is that instead of needing a short leg to validate them, they validate themselves; in what they do and who they are. They have a full plan of what they are going to do and how they will go about doing it. This is the that I feel that I am at times I have felt as though I needed a short leg to make me feel special or like I was doing something instead of actually doing something. They were my sidekick if you will. But for the past year (past 4 months mostly) I have been that Straight Leg individual, the one that knows who they are, what they are, and how much they want to bring to the table.

THINK.....

REALLY THINK.....

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

ONE LUV

Words to LIVE BY.....

How vain is it to sit down to write when you havent stood up to live. -Henery David Thoearu


Today I learned a valuable lesson about myself. I came to realize two things: FIRST that I have big dreams followed by no action, and SECOND that my actions made my dreams seem out of reach. Though for years I had been giving advice on what you should do in order to get to where you wanted to go, and how to believe in yourself enough to do so. I must say that I wasn't following my own advice and my actions proved that I didn't believe in myself as much as I tried to convice those around me that I did. So today while I was reading like I do everyday for FUN :). I came across a list of quotes I had written down when I was a freshman in high school. Thw list was entitled, "what drives me", now at this moment I can't think of why I titled this list this way but I am guessing I knew that I would need it later on. I had quotes from the writting greats like Robert Frost, Langhston Hughes, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickinson, Toni Morrison, Emmerson, Walt Whitman, Edgar Allen Poe, Alfred Tennyson, Dorothy Parker, and a few others that escape my mind. At the very bottom of this list was a quote by Henery David Throeau that said, "How vain is it to sit down to write when you haven't stood up to live". That quote did the same thing to me that it did when I first found it freshman year it made me THINK. Now thats not saying that I didn't more or less when I read it the first time it's just now I understand it better and I am more willing to turn the nouns into verbs, while I still have the chance. Right now I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want to go about doing it. But in order for it to happen I have to have my plan in writing. Seeing it makes all the difference, when I see it I know that it is possible. ONE LUV

Thought of the day 8/20/2009

I write to revive the heartbeat of a generation gone numb - Mush

[Today is my Ace's Birthday]
{{we are about to do it right :)}}


ONE LUV

Relationships, and YES I am doing the dishes!!!

I never knew how much it took to make a realtionship last until I actually was in a REAL relationship. Now this may sound funny but I was just playing games and being inmature about love or whatever it was I was involved in from previous years. It wasn't until this year that I can truly say that I was indeed in Love. No i am not talking about the puppy dog love you see on the romance flicks or the kind of love you can only dream about but real love. The late nights the haunting thoughts of deception, the insecurities, EVERYTHING. This love scared me. It made me lie to the ones I loved and most importantly myself. I was a fool in love in some aspects, thinking that it will last forever. Not saying that it can't or in my case that it won't. I just went into it being too naive. Not sure of what to do, or what to say, how to act without pushing any buttons. When I should have just went in being myself and not what I thought I was supposed to be or how I was supposed to act. Time apart is good when you find yourself at a fork in the road. When I finally came to the conclusion that I didnt want to be in a relationship where I felt like I was the only one who was really in it. I knew right then and there that it was time for me Adriana to get some much needed space. Of course others thought that I made a stupid move and that I would pay for it sooner or later but as shinedown says and I quote:

"Please don't cry one tear for me,

I am not afraid of what I have to say

This is my one and only voice

So listen close, it's only for today"

I had a decision to make either I was going to become a shadow or be a human being, this was my only chance; I had to turn things around so I did. Now at first it was rocky: the people that told me nothing but bad things were going to happen were right but only to a certain extent. Things were said, lies were swang and I was more than I was when the decision was made, but once it was all revealed.....I had two choices: either fight for what I want or just let it blow on with the wind. I decided to fight and I did what I could and even a few things that I couldn't but I put forth the effort. Now don't get it twisted: we are still not officially together and he is still a grown ass man and we still have our moments but right now he is a friend that I am so very lucky to have. Even if we just continue to be friends until we get gray and die lol......I will be pleased because he was truly my first EVERYTHING and he taught me the trade. Some say he taught me so good he got me making the meal and doing the dishes, but I will gladly agree because a love like that dosen't come too often. Relationships can be a trip but what makes it is who you choose to have one with!

BE BLESSED

I SAY.....

Encourage yourself if no one tells you that you can, tell yourself! You are your only obstacle. Embrace your wings and fly.

BE BLESSED

Thought of the day 7/23/2009

Like a cellular phone, with an incoming call.... Like a Las Vegas night with no London Fog... Like decorations on a Christmas tree... Be like the sun... And show everyone... G L O W. BE BLESSED

Love Letter to a Friend

Holding on to that which is not in my reach

Wanting to cry but the stress on my eyes makes me sleep.

Never once did I imagine meeting one like you

Better yet did imagine that we'd make it through

It was only a few months but it seemed like forever

I honestly can't picture us not being together

Even if not as one but at least as friends, that way I could still hold on to the love I have for you without it feeling like a sin.

Sometimes I know I come off strong and a lil insecure

but sometimes Iam too sure and it makes me question your motives.

I made a promise to you and that I plan to keep.

I won't lie I love you and I would Marry you any day of the week!

Don't think I am playing games trying to win your heart, the truth is you hold mine and I don't want us to part.

Even though you may leave and travel the seas to a home I can't provide, I want you to know that I love you and I am honored you let me be by your side.

So if there ever comes a time when you feel down or you feel a frown coming on, just do what I do, think of the one you love and let them lead you on.

I wrote this letter to let you know how I feel. From this point I won't have much to say, my true heart has been revealed.BE BLESSED

Smile....You woke up.

A Wise young man told me today that 'What is not possible with men is possible with God'. Now even though he did not know it he was a blessing to me. With just those words alone I was able to go through my entire day without any distractions and I did fairly well on my biology test. No I am not saying that he is a saint I am just saying you never know who God will send to give you a message. Be careful of who you disrespect they just might be the only ones left to give you a helping hand. Now I am at such a stage of peace I just want to soar above this world of fallacy and face my true reality for what it is. It will soon be a test of time. BE BLESSED

Tell Me Why...

Tell me why, when you start to get a taste of reality and it feels so soft somebody gotta try and knock you down? Like Keri Hilson says, " Sometimes love comes around, and it knocks you down, Just get back up when it knocks you down." But don't get it twisted I ain't down no 'mo I just like that song ya dig lol. But fo real though. If you know you born into this world with problems don't go and add problems on to the ones you already got. Like if you know you a 9 'cause errbody ain't perfect (and yes I said errbody) and you want someone else that is a 9 or maybe an 8. Why you messin around with the one thats a 5???? You know it, ya mama know, ya daddy know, but naw you in love so you can't see. But hey igmorance is bliss and we love this so we show pride in not knowin'.You ain't doin' nothin' but addin' 'mo damage to yo self. And you wonder why you can't never get out out of the world you in...Look we are all born in a state of ignorance, a lot of us never change residence. Sometimes fantasy can be a realizaton of things to come. If you know what you got don't be ashamed to get what you want. When you make it to a place where you are your only obstcale you have made it to more than just your destiny.BE BLESSED

New Covenant

Previously I feel out of Gods will got in touch with a simple mind and a cheap thrill.Lead astray by my own thoughts it was my fault for getting lost,I had directions that I chose not to follow.Working alone, feeling depressed my heart became hollow.Planning my days thinking that it would put me ahead, trying to do it all myselfwhen it has always been God who got me out of bed. My plans lead me to the pit of my deepest sorrow looking both ways for tomorrow.Previously I lost me, now with this new covenant God has given me faith to believe.

Now I am Free.