R@NDOMN3SS

So many things come to mind as I sit at my desk and use words to express emotions that would other wise go unrecognized. Right now the best way to describe me is....hopeful. I hope for a lot praying that some things come true. Sometimes I dwell on misfortune and just take whats in front of me without asking questions. I have a lot of regrets and its funny they all happened in one year. So random they were yet extremly severe, I can still hear the music playing in the background of a soundtrack to a movie I never should have went to see. I got a doggy bag to go so I wouldnt forget the experience. Pleased I am with my life and its current state. I cant pretend anymore whats done is done and I ate everything on my plate. Nothing left to show nor share I have forgiven all no time to care. Like Priscilla Renae would say:

" I have learned

that people aint gone change unless they wanna

can't make 'em over

It's hard to learn

the only one who can help you is yourself

nobody else cares...."

So true those words she spoke, if you dont care for yourself dont waist ya time waiting on anyone else to do it for you because its not gonna happen not now, not ever. You are your own best friend. You cant deal with yourself yet you want someone else to take a chance on you? Thats stupid...but I guess if you consider yourself to be stupid its expected. And you wouldn't want to go against the grain and do something unexpected OH NO! Quick call somebody before we do something crazy like be OURSELVES!......Thank the Lawd the laws came we were almost independent individuals. Man... that was a close one.......simple minded followers.

Iam sick and tired of being the only woman in a room that has an opinion about something besides hair and makeup. Im sick and tired of being asked what Im mixed with because just regular ole blacks cant have good hair like mine with them type of curls and waves I have I gots to be mixed. Im tired of people being surprised that I know about authors and current events like I cant read or watch the news. Im tired of people saying you are mean, because I won't accept your ignorance. Iam sick and tired of guys using the same line on me, talking about, wow you are really smart and beautiful why are you single? And Iam tired of my own dumbass because I keep falling for it. I tired of giving my all in relationships just to get half in return. Iam tired of people telling me to just wait and see. Im tired of waiting, and what the hell is there to see?????? Whatever it is better hurry up and get here because Im about to leave! Fo' real a lot of people dont believe that I go through half of the things I say I do but guess what I could care less because I know I do and it aint none of your business anyway so all those people who try to put me down talk about me call me names behind my back and talk smack, keep it up I appericiate that. And as far as men go I do love one and he knows his name, but Iam in love with another and his name is JESUS!! And nobody in this world or the next can tear us apart. What he has for me is great he is my father, my pastor, and my best friend. He knows me within and he is still my friend, can't nobody do me like jesus and no one ever will. And who I end up with is his will, it has already been written and I dont play with jesus.....those that do be trippin'.

This was just randomness that came to my head I wasnt tryna make a point just said what needed to be said. If you got something to say good or bad go right ahead. May the World be blessed.

Peace. Iam off to bed.

ONE LUV