No More Doubt

As I sit and listen to the new Mary J. Blige album , there is one song that sticks out to me. Doubt. To me it is the most powerful song on the entire album because it is simple but it says so much....

You said I'd never be a leader
You said I'd never wear a crown
If I wanted to be someone
I should learn to settle down

(You should know better)
I tell myself
(You'll never go further)
I warn myself
(You'll never be better)
Don't know me that well

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
But I can't keep doubting myself anymore

No! 
I can't keep doubting myself

Now you're looking at a leader
Now you're staring at a queen
You said I'll never be someone
But now I'm pulling all the strings

(You should know better)
Won't let me back down
(You'll never go further)
Can't turn me around
(You'll never be better)
So no-one's stopping me now

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
I can't keep doubting myself anymore

No! 
I can't keep doubting myself

You think you know 
But you don't know the half
You think you beat me down
But I'll have the last laugh
I'll keep getting up
'Cause that's what I'm gonna do 
I'm gonna be the best me
Sorry if it kills you

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
But I can't keep doubting myself anymore
No! No!
I can't keep doubting myself anymore

My sentiments exactly. You just have to get to the point in your life where you are your own worst enemy and biggest fan. If you do not see that the environment you are in is suitable for the life you aspire to live then change your environment. I understand that at times it cannot be done physically but it starts as a mindset. CHANGE YOUR STATE OF MIND!!! I am now taking my own advice. Pull up a seat and take notes. Practicing what you preach is never easy... 

The Journey Less Traveled

ONE LUV

YOU DON'T KNOW

You Don't Know - Jill Scott

Did you ever know what it is to be hurt
Did you ever feel like dirt
Did you ever give up on your pride
Just to have him by your side

Well if you don’t know what I am talking about
You don’t know nothing 
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know
You don’t know nothing
About love

When the night time comes do your tears fall like rain 
and in the morning do they fall all over again
Tell me did you get down on your knees and pray
That should never never never go away

Well if you don’t know what I am talking about
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
nothing about love

Don’t try to tell me that I am out of my mind
Cause [?] I will be right behind
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
About love...





This song ^^^^^^^ EVERYTHING!!!!



ONE LUV

The Definition of Peace

He said, "The way I see you is just happiness," and my heart melts. Finally.
An unexpected chain of events causes my mind to wonder about possibilities not yet presented to explore. Take a trip with me down a road less traveled by man; allow me to introduce you to imagination only visited by the innocence of a child.
Let's get lost in the definition of Peace.
Freedom from disturbance,
Tranquility is a luxury for me in the in the depths of your chest that have held secrets not yet spoken to the wind.
I rejoice at the possibility of possibilities and laugh at the thought of doubt.
I place all my eggs in your basket without fear of one falling out.
Rock with me on the waves of uncertainty and together we can SEEK
REACH
PREACH
TEACH
And SEE
PEACE!



*God truly works in mysterious ways, when you least expect it. Queens always remember that you are the one that someone is praying for. Be Patient.*

 ONE LUV

The Current Situation....

I will be 25 years old on March 31st and what do I have to show for it?
Just typing that first line i can feel my heart beat increase, my mouth water and my eyes fight to win a battle with tears. In all honesty I feel useless even less than useless but at the moment I cant seem to find a word or catch phrase that can truly depict my current state of mind. The thought of tears seems so cliche but it is a road less traveled by me so  for once maybe I should explore its possibilities. So here goes...
Tear #1: This first tear is being shed for all the ones that I loved and lost in turn making it hard for me to cope with death, thus giving me commitment issues.
Tear #2: For the "friends" who I attempted hold on to for longer than a season and in consequence losing a bit of myself when they casually walked out of my life just as easily as they strolled in.
Tear #3: For all the teachers and coaches who encouraged me to my face but didn't care to clean up the mess that leaked from the wounds they left in my back.
Tear #4: For all the times I kept my mouth shut, head low and eyes closed to things I knew wasn't right.
Tear #5: for all the times when I thought less of myself than I ought to because of what society said I should be.
Tear #6: For every time I lied and there was no reason to.
Tear #7: For every relationship where I gave so much of myself away that I didn't realize I lost me until my image was no longer recognized in the mirror.
Tear#8: For the experiences that caused me to be so cold hearted and hateful against my own people.
Tear #9: For all the ones i gave up on too soon, without explanation.
Tear #10: Just because I haven't cried in a very very very very long time.

So Whats Next? I came to New York , the BIG APPLE, NYC for the dream of a lifetime but instead I got a slap on the back and a contract to compromise my moral constitute. So I decided to take a break from Show Biz to follow another dream I had to join the military and become an RN only to find out that they don't have that field open at the time. Which is understandable I assume everyone wants to be in that field. I then decided to take my second job choice of CTI ( Cryptic Technician Interpretive) only to be told that not only can I not be promised that job but they don't have it available at this time. You can only imagine my disgust with the governmental system at this point. The recruiter then proceeds to inform me that the jobs that are available are basically grunt positions, foot soldiers. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!! So even with my high test scores I would still go in as a low enlisted foot solider. Smh.

Just as you may have guessed I said hell no and walked out of that office head high and shoulders back. On my way back to Brooklyn I spoke with a flight attendant who complimented me on my hair, I guess she was amazed that it was all mine, she informed me on what flight attendants do and how to apply for a job with the airline. I had no prospects at the time so I said ok sure what the heck. As soon as I get inside aside from cutting the heat on I opened my laptop and applied to be a flight attendant I fit the requirements and I just knew that I had this job in the bag. I applied for over 12 airlines that day and thus far I have yet to receive any calls or emails, unless we count the one I got from Delta saying that I didn't get the job. To say I currently feel like crap would be and understatement under the understatement. But with no options. Back to the drawing board I go I guess.

 ONE LUV