I am a Writer

I am a writer that can not seem to write down the passions of my hearts dreams. I am a writer and I find myself stumbling over the hiccups of my thoughts. Not once did I think to stop and ask why, instead I press forward to make something seem like nothing in a field of possibilites. What would you call it? I call it complacncy. So it is time for me to start the process to my journey.....I will see you soon!

ONE LUV

To Be Completely Honest

To Be Completely Honest......

On March 31,1990 I believe God sat back in awe of his creation

and as a tear escaped his face my mother screamed.

I escaped with a dimple on the left side of my face high above my cheek.

I like to believe it's God's imprint because he couldn't let go that easily.

To Be Completely Honest.......

I was created to perform, my body made up of classical steps and a contempary heartbeat

always shifting past half of the treble I get into.....well at least a quarter of the time.

To Be Completely Honest......

I have only ever loved two men that were outside of my family in my entire life

but I only had the courage to tell one. 

The first time I was exploring a forgien land without a map or passport which led

to great adventures, but there is only a matter of time before someone notices you don't sound the same as them.

To Be Completely Honest.......

I love the culture of my land 500 years removed

.....I wish more of my people here were able to hold on to it.

To Be Completely Honest.....

There was a time when I gave up on God and all he had to say because I felt like he gave up on me

treating my life like a haiku.....you know allowing the ending to come to quick.

To Be Completely Honest.....

I specialized in haiku relationships, they were always 2short to process and 2 wrong 4 me to ever forget. 

To Be Completely Honest.........

I hate math, to many variables never adding up to my never ending solution,

never willing to give up so in the back of the class I stay always the pupil never the teacher.

To Be Completely Honest........

I don't care what you think because a thought is the minds evaporation of an idea that you don't have enough detail to produce.

To Be Completely Honest.......

My best friend's name used to be lust and we were inseperable, she ruined every relationship I ever had 

Trust wouldn't let her die and regret was always ready to bring her back to life.

To Be Completely Honest......

I blame no one but myself for my past because I finally allowed God to take hold and he now holds my future.

To Be Completely Honest.......

I was told you're not a true poet until you tell the truth......

I am a storyteller not just a poet and for the first time in a long time I started off with the truth.......Enjoy......

ONE LUV

No More Doubt

As I sit and listen to the new Mary J. Blige album , there is one song that sticks out to me. Doubt. To me it is the most powerful song on the entire album because it is simple but it says so much....

You said I'd never be a leader
You said I'd never wear a crown
If I wanted to be someone
I should learn to settle down

(You should know better)
I tell myself
(You'll never go further)
I warn myself
(You'll never be better)
Don't know me that well

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
But I can't keep doubting myself anymore

No! 
I can't keep doubting myself

Now you're looking at a leader
Now you're staring at a queen
You said I'll never be someone
But now I'm pulling all the strings

(You should know better)
Won't let me back down
(You'll never go further)
Can't turn me around
(You'll never be better)
So no-one's stopping me now

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
I can't keep doubting myself anymore

No! 
I can't keep doubting myself

You think you know 
But you don't know the half
You think you beat me down
But I'll have the last laugh
I'll keep getting up
'Cause that's what I'm gonna do 
I'm gonna be the best me
Sorry if it kills you

I made it to the end
I nearly paid the cost
I lost a lot of friends
I sacrificed a lot
I'd do it all again
'Cause I made it to the top
But I can't keep doubting myself anymore
No! No!
I can't keep doubting myself anymore

My sentiments exactly. You just have to get to the point in your life where you are your own worst enemy and biggest fan. If you do not see that the environment you are in is suitable for the life you aspire to live then change your environment. I understand that at times it cannot be done physically but it starts as a mindset. CHANGE YOUR STATE OF MIND!!! I am now taking my own advice. Pull up a seat and take notes. Practicing what you preach is never easy... 

The Journey Less Traveled

ONE LUV

YOU DON'T KNOW

You Don't Know - Jill Scott

Did you ever know what it is to be hurt
Did you ever feel like dirt
Did you ever give up on your pride
Just to have him by your side

Well if you don’t know what I am talking about
You don’t know nothing 
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know
You don’t know nothing
About love

When the night time comes do your tears fall like rain 
and in the morning do they fall all over again
Tell me did you get down on your knees and pray
That should never never never go away

Well if you don’t know what I am talking about
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
nothing about love

Don’t try to tell me that I am out of my mind
Cause [?] I will be right behind
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
You don’t know nothing
About love...





This song ^^^^^^^ EVERYTHING!!!!



ONE LUV

The Definition of Peace

He said, "The way I see you is just happiness," and my heart melts. Finally.
An unexpected chain of events causes my mind to wonder about possibilities not yet presented to explore. Take a trip with me down a road less traveled by man; allow me to introduce you to imagination only visited by the innocence of a child.
Let's get lost in the definition of Peace.
Freedom from disturbance,
Tranquility is a luxury for me in the in the depths of your chest that have held secrets not yet spoken to the wind.
I rejoice at the possibility of possibilities and laugh at the thought of doubt.
I place all my eggs in your basket without fear of one falling out.
Rock with me on the waves of uncertainty and together we can SEEK
REACH
PREACH
TEACH
And SEE
PEACE!



*God truly works in mysterious ways, when you least expect it. Queens always remember that you are the one that someone is praying for. Be Patient.*

 ONE LUV

The Current Situation....

I will be 25 years old on March 31st and what do I have to show for it?
Just typing that first line i can feel my heart beat increase, my mouth water and my eyes fight to win a battle with tears. In all honesty I feel useless even less than useless but at the moment I cant seem to find a word or catch phrase that can truly depict my current state of mind. The thought of tears seems so cliche but it is a road less traveled by me so  for once maybe I should explore its possibilities. So here goes...
Tear #1: This first tear is being shed for all the ones that I loved and lost in turn making it hard for me to cope with death, thus giving me commitment issues.
Tear #2: For the "friends" who I attempted hold on to for longer than a season and in consequence losing a bit of myself when they casually walked out of my life just as easily as they strolled in.
Tear #3: For all the teachers and coaches who encouraged me to my face but didn't care to clean up the mess that leaked from the wounds they left in my back.
Tear #4: For all the times I kept my mouth shut, head low and eyes closed to things I knew wasn't right.
Tear #5: for all the times when I thought less of myself than I ought to because of what society said I should be.
Tear #6: For every time I lied and there was no reason to.
Tear #7: For every relationship where I gave so much of myself away that I didn't realize I lost me until my image was no longer recognized in the mirror.
Tear#8: For the experiences that caused me to be so cold hearted and hateful against my own people.
Tear #9: For all the ones i gave up on too soon, without explanation.
Tear #10: Just because I haven't cried in a very very very very long time.

So Whats Next? I came to New York , the BIG APPLE, NYC for the dream of a lifetime but instead I got a slap on the back and a contract to compromise my moral constitute. So I decided to take a break from Show Biz to follow another dream I had to join the military and become an RN only to find out that they don't have that field open at the time. Which is understandable I assume everyone wants to be in that field. I then decided to take my second job choice of CTI ( Cryptic Technician Interpretive) only to be told that not only can I not be promised that job but they don't have it available at this time. You can only imagine my disgust with the governmental system at this point. The recruiter then proceeds to inform me that the jobs that are available are basically grunt positions, foot soldiers. ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!! So even with my high test scores I would still go in as a low enlisted foot solider. Smh.

Just as you may have guessed I said hell no and walked out of that office head high and shoulders back. On my way back to Brooklyn I spoke with a flight attendant who complimented me on my hair, I guess she was amazed that it was all mine, she informed me on what flight attendants do and how to apply for a job with the airline. I had no prospects at the time so I said ok sure what the heck. As soon as I get inside aside from cutting the heat on I opened my laptop and applied to be a flight attendant I fit the requirements and I just knew that I had this job in the bag. I applied for over 12 airlines that day and thus far I have yet to receive any calls or emails, unless we count the one I got from Delta saying that I didn't get the job. To say I currently feel like crap would be and understatement under the understatement. But with no options. Back to the drawing board I go I guess.

 ONE LUV

The Introduction....

Wow, just looking at the computer screen takes me back to a time when the sound of my nails hitting the keys was my only escape....I guess I will began by saying hello. Hello. How are you? Stop don't answer that because I frankly could care less.....

And so my journey begins. It is 2015 and my entire life I have lived for other people  been good at what they wanted me to be good at so they could brag and say yeah I know her. When in actuality they know nothing about me except my name and for most they still aren't sure of that fact. I will be 25 years young on March 31, 2015 and I am finally doing what I want to do in my life, when it comes to love, relationships,jobs and my career choices as well. I am a NEW WOMAN!!! .....Not really though, honestly I just got tired of the bs and not being happy. I made a choice and I choose to be happy more than anything in this world and allow everything else to simply fall into place. I am glad to be back in the Blogger arena and I can not wait for you all to take this journey with me and learn as I learn and hopefully be a better person for it.

Until next time...

ONE LUV