Straight Leg

My father who I consider to be a very wise man :D informed me on something that I never thought of before last night as we were sitting on the porch. As I was telling him how my first day back to school went and how I was pleased with those I choose to surround myself with this year, He Stopped me. He began to breakdown what and who I should and should not deal with. First he talked about the short leg person. I know I was thinking the same thing short leg??? Then he began to explain that a short leg person does not mean that that person literally has a short leg but instead a short leg person is a person that has no long term goals and is just going with the flow. They have no hope in life and have no support to want to do anything more. He told me that with the plans and goals that I have, there is no need for short leg conversation. Next, he explained the long leg individual. This is the individual that has a plan and knows where they want to go but at the same time they need a short leg to validate them. To make them feel more wanted, or make them feel as though they are going somewhere. This person is really not one that you want around because they bring along extra baggage and they are not able to stand on their own two feet. Lastly, may father spoke about the straight leg person. Now this person stuck out to me the most because I just thought that the straight leg and the long leg was the same person. The difference in the Straight leg is that instead of needing a short leg to validate them, they validate themselves; in what they do and who they are. They have a full plan of what they are going to do and how they will go about doing it. This is the that I feel that I am at times I have felt as though I needed a short leg to make me feel special or like I was doing something instead of actually doing something. They were my sidekick if you will. But for the past year (past 4 months mostly) I have been that Straight Leg individual, the one that knows who they are, what they are, and how much they want to bring to the table.

THINK.....

REALLY THINK.....

WHICH ONE ARE YOU?

ONE LUV

Words to LIVE BY.....

How vain is it to sit down to write when you havent stood up to live. -Henery David Thoearu


Today I learned a valuable lesson about myself. I came to realize two things: FIRST that I have big dreams followed by no action, and SECOND that my actions made my dreams seem out of reach. Though for years I had been giving advice on what you should do in order to get to where you wanted to go, and how to believe in yourself enough to do so. I must say that I wasn't following my own advice and my actions proved that I didn't believe in myself as much as I tried to convice those around me that I did. So today while I was reading like I do everyday for FUN :). I came across a list of quotes I had written down when I was a freshman in high school. Thw list was entitled, "what drives me", now at this moment I can't think of why I titled this list this way but I am guessing I knew that I would need it later on. I had quotes from the writting greats like Robert Frost, Langhston Hughes, Maya Angelou, Emily Dickinson, Toni Morrison, Emmerson, Walt Whitman, Edgar Allen Poe, Alfred Tennyson, Dorothy Parker, and a few others that escape my mind. At the very bottom of this list was a quote by Henery David Throeau that said, "How vain is it to sit down to write when you haven't stood up to live". That quote did the same thing to me that it did when I first found it freshman year it made me THINK. Now thats not saying that I didn't more or less when I read it the first time it's just now I understand it better and I am more willing to turn the nouns into verbs, while I still have the chance. Right now I have an idea of what I want to do and how I want to go about doing it. But in order for it to happen I have to have my plan in writing. Seeing it makes all the difference, when I see it I know that it is possible. ONE LUV

Thought of the day 8/20/2009

I write to revive the heartbeat of a generation gone numb - Mush

[Today is my Ace's Birthday]
{{we are about to do it right :)}}


ONE LUV

Relationships, and YES I am doing the dishes!!!

I never knew how much it took to make a realtionship last until I actually was in a REAL relationship. Now this may sound funny but I was just playing games and being inmature about love or whatever it was I was involved in from previous years. It wasn't until this year that I can truly say that I was indeed in Love. No i am not talking about the puppy dog love you see on the romance flicks or the kind of love you can only dream about but real love. The late nights the haunting thoughts of deception, the insecurities, EVERYTHING. This love scared me. It made me lie to the ones I loved and most importantly myself. I was a fool in love in some aspects, thinking that it will last forever. Not saying that it can't or in my case that it won't. I just went into it being too naive. Not sure of what to do, or what to say, how to act without pushing any buttons. When I should have just went in being myself and not what I thought I was supposed to be or how I was supposed to act. Time apart is good when you find yourself at a fork in the road. When I finally came to the conclusion that I didnt want to be in a relationship where I felt like I was the only one who was really in it. I knew right then and there that it was time for me Adriana to get some much needed space. Of course others thought that I made a stupid move and that I would pay for it sooner or later but as shinedown says and I quote:

"Please don't cry one tear for me,

I am not afraid of what I have to say

This is my one and only voice

So listen close, it's only for today"

I had a decision to make either I was going to become a shadow or be a human being, this was my only chance; I had to turn things around so I did. Now at first it was rocky: the people that told me nothing but bad things were going to happen were right but only to a certain extent. Things were said, lies were swang and I was more than I was when the decision was made, but once it was all revealed.....I had two choices: either fight for what I want or just let it blow on with the wind. I decided to fight and I did what I could and even a few things that I couldn't but I put forth the effort. Now don't get it twisted: we are still not officially together and he is still a grown ass man and we still have our moments but right now he is a friend that I am so very lucky to have. Even if we just continue to be friends until we get gray and die lol......I will be pleased because he was truly my first EVERYTHING and he taught me the trade. Some say he taught me so good he got me making the meal and doing the dishes, but I will gladly agree because a love like that dosen't come too often. Relationships can be a trip but what makes it is who you choose to have one with!

BE BLESSED